Concert Review: Blaise Moore can please sit down

Let me just start with saying: MY EYES COULD NOT ROLL ANY FARTHER BACK IN MY HEAD. And I’ll count it as a blessing to avoid having to witness such a clichéd, lackluster performance.

Blaise Moore had all the authenticity of Iggy Azalea (translation: none), enthusiasm of Lana Del Rey (translation: none) and vocal range of a child’s toy keyboard (translation: a single octave).

The limitation of her range was not exclusive to her singing. Her stage presence consisted of walking back and forth, flipping her hair, and pointing her fingers with claw-like nails out into the crowd — all performed in the most half-assed manner. Her movements were about as fluid and expansive as a plastic doll with no joints and the range of plastic facial expressions to match.

The Toronto native entered the stage with a fresh, but vacant face. Her sultry-toned voice seemed promising matching the deep bass and synths backing her. After a brief vignette, she introduced herself with “I am Blaise Moore and these are some songs from my Laurence EP.”

Alright, cool. No chit chat. Let the music speak for itself. But what followed was an all too laughable bait and switch.

After a few tolerable, albeit derivative songs, the music took a noticeable turn to reflect a more hip hop-influenced style. Suddenly every lyrically “fuck”-laced song was trying way too hard to sound badass. I kid you not, she actually ended a song with just “fuck.” It was like a toddler playing pretend with no actual context. Some really bad attempts at rapping were also involved with a muddled and inconsistent “blaccent.” It was like watching an identity crisis on stage.

While her voice has potential with a velvet-smooth tonality, her singing was pitchy, which is astonishing given the minimal selection of notes she even sang. The one time she ventured into another octave, the audience cheered as if it was something spectacular. It wasn’t. She just set the bar that low.

Moore lacked any form of dynamic in her performance. Even as the music surged and built, she remained completely deadpan, causing the music to drown her out in more ways than one.

After a cringe-worthy 30 minutes, she uttered the last line of the last song and walked off stage as if she had somehow earned a “mic drop” moment… fine. I just hope she doesn’t pick it back up.

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